Learning to live
by Keiraluvsdeidara
Summary: After Sasori's death Deidara attempts suicide. The Akatuski decide the best thing is to send him to a new school in America. There he must come to terms with himself and what he has done.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I Keira Simmons do not know Naruto characters, Naruto settings, I do not own anything Naruto related. I also do not own any of the music lyrics I feature if I feature in this fan fiction. However i do own all the students at Santiam High School

Chapter 1.

"Deidara please get out of the car. We are staying at this town until you are well enough to go back to the hide out." Itachi said trying to open the door that Deidara had locked.

"I am perfectly fine Itachi. un." Deidara told the raven haired boy unlocking the door and stepping out of the car.

"You tried to kill yourself remember look at the scars on your wrists. The ones that go all the way up your arms. and the whole thing about you cutting yourself. Add in the locking yourself in the bath room. I don't think that you are okay Dei." Itachi told the blonde boy. "So we are in America because my Sasori died and I can't live without him, un?" Deidara said tears threatening to come out. "I hate you Itachi look at this school, un. I am not ready to go to school I haven't been to anything except for the Iwagakure Ninja Academy, un." Deidara who had begun to cry said crossing his arms."Deidara listen you are going to school today so am I, but we have to get you in there now. I went yesterday it is not that bad and everyone is very nice.""Will they be nice when they find out I am a freak who cuts himself, loved a boy, and tried to kill himself over that boy, un? I didn't think so, un." Deidara said tears still running down his face. He wanted to hurt himself. He wanted to die and be with his danna.

"They will. trust me. Come on Deidara." Itachi said wiping the tears off Deidara's face.

"Okay. I trust you Itachi, un." Deidara followed Itachi into the school 'Sanitam High School. Home of the Wolverines.' a sign in front of the school said.

"Hey Itachi." a boy said The boy had brown hair.

"What up Jamie." Itachi said and walked off with this Jamie character.

Deidara rolled his eyes looked around he had no idea where he was going. He was getting frusterated and felt like he was going to cry. Then he heard the voice of a girl behind him. "Hey you look new. I'm Kayla. Need some help?"

"I am Deidara, un. I would love some help, un." Deidara said to the girl with red hair she kind of looked like Sasori minus the puppet body. She was his height her hair was longer but close to the same red color. She had green eyes like Sasori. It sort of hurt him to look at her.

"Okay first I think you have your schedual because i remember talking to Itachi about you." Kayla said her eyes motioned to his arms but then back up to his face. "You know don't you, un?" Deidara said ashamed of himself.

"Itachi did let it slip, But I think only to me. He saw something I had in my binder. Can I see your Schedual?" Kayla said showing Deidara her binder a picture of a young man with short brown hair was next to a piece of paper that said 'R.I.P Seth Save us a spot in Heaven We miss you.' "He was one of my best friends. He saw it and said you lost somebody really close to you and you tried to kill yourself."

"Yeah. I don't feel like talking about it now. Here is my schedual." Deidara said handing Kayla the piece of paper in his hands. Kayla took it and looked it over.

DEIDARAGrade: 11

1. Physical Education-----------------------Buell Gonzales

2. Geometry-------------------------------Steven Finicle

3. Chemistry-----------------------Steven Finicle

4. American Pop Culture-------------------Bill Brown

5. Government------------------------------Steve Young

6 Vet Science-------------------------------Nicole Sholz

7. English 2--------------------------------Mandy Summer

"Deidara we have the same schedual except for fourth period I didn't like that class well so I moved into another class well not really I will still be in your class just I am a Teacher's assistant." Kayla told him. "Come on let's go to the Library you can meet the coolest Librarian ever."

Deidara followed Kayla to the Library of the school. "Hey Hunny. Who is your friend."

"This is Deidara. Hey Debbie is my book in?" Kayla asked the librarian.

"Here it is are you sure you are ready you know it has to do with suicide?" Debbie told Kayla.

"Yeah I'm ready. It doesn't matter what I read Seth will still be gone and it wont change the way he died. Besides Debbie I heard it was a really good book." Kayla said. Deidara wondered if this Seth guy they were talking about killed himself. The look in Kayla's eyes when she looked at the cover of the book told Deidara that he did. He was brought into focus when Kayla started talking again "I miss him Debbie."

"I know you do Sweetie we all miss that boy." She told Kayla. The bell rang a signal to go to first period. Physical Education. Phys. Ed. P.E. When they got to the hallway near the Gym Kayla could sense Deidara's anxiousness.

"Deidara I know you are worried about dressing down just wear your hoodie. I wear mine see." Kayla pulled up a sleeve of her hoodie and showed Deidara some scars on her arm. "Well at least I did when I cut alot. I don't do it so much anymore so I don't really see a need to hide anything. Just keep your hoodie on and put on shorts."

Deidara put his long hair in a pony tail and got into Shorts. He spent as little time was needed in the locker room.

"Look at the girly boy." a skinny guy whispered to a blonde boy right next to him. Deidara put his hands in the front pockets of his hoodie. "I bet he is a faggot too." They both laughed the blonde a little less but it still hurt Deidara.

"Hey Deidara sorry I'm usually one of the last ones out of the locker room. I should have told you I usually wait for Emily she is my cousin and one of my only friends in this class. Emily, Megan, The two Jessica's, and of course Josh." Kayla motioned to the blonde that had laughed when the other boy called him a faggot.

"Okay guys 3 laps." The teacher said.

"What was that 1 lap Gonzo." Megan said. Really nobody ran the 3 laps they all ran in circles randomly around the Gym.

"Okay guys Hockey Unreal edition. upstairs." Gonzo said. When they got upstairs they all broke into teams.

They played for awhile Deidara found the game amusing he some what enjoyed himself until a girl named Skylar hit him with the hockey stick in the arm where he had a giant cut full of stitches.

"Skylar. Keep the stick down!" The teacher yelled.

Thank God the bell rang. Deidara got back into his pants and went out side. Kayla was already out there with Emily, who seemed really nice, and that Josh, who was nice after he apologized for laughing with the kid who Deidara learned was named Ross. Deidara pulled some of his hair out of his pony tail with some of his long blonde hair in his face with some down while the rest was up.

"Geometry next. You ready Josh we have a Test?" Kayla said.

"Shoot me in the freakin head." Josh said leaning back in the chair he was sitting in.

"Don't worry Deidara you wont have to take the test." Kayla said.

"Good. It has been awhile since I took math, un." Deidara said as the bell rang the hall they walked down was croweded as students traveled from one class to another.

"Hey Dei, How is your day so far?" Itachi said as they went into the class.

"Itachi, you are in this class, un?" Deidara asked shocked Itachi always was smart in math.

"No, I'm this sensei's new TA. This teacher actually likes being called sensei. I took the job when the former teacher assistant couldn't do his job."

"Cody got his job taken away that is funny." Kayla laughed as she sat in her desk. "Deidara this desk is open sit here"

"She has you trained, Deidara." Itachi said. going to a swivel (Sp?) chair.

The class ended and Kayla left her stuff. "come on Deidara."

"Where are we going, un?" Deidara looked at her

"We are on a mission. Operation: Find Barbara!" Kayla told him. Deidara looked at Kayla.

"Object in sight."Kayla said running to a girl. The girl was tall about as tall as Itachi. "Hey Barbara this is Deidara he is new."

"Hey Kayla you seem hyper today." Barbara said

"I had a Red Bull for breakfast!" Kayla told her. "I am fully prepared for the crash about 5th period."

"Hey so you are Deidara. Your buddy Itachi has been telling everyone about you. And why you are here. Nobody is going to call you on it but I just thought you should know." Barbara said

"I'm going to kill Itachi, un." Deidara said.

"Hey Barb we will check you later okay?" Kayla told the girl. The girl looked at Kayla and Deidara and left saying something about her boyfriend.

"I'm going to kill Itachi, un." Deidara repeated.

"Deidara you okay?" Kayla asked

"He had no right to tell people about me, un. Why I am here. It isn't fair, un." Deidara said. He had started to cry. Which Kayla found slightly awkward.

"You know he might be worried about you and he is telling people this so they can let him know if you are planning on killing yourself or something." Kayla told him. Her head was down. Deidara didn't know it but she was thinking of her friend Seth at that moment. She wished that she would have been able to stop Seth from killing himself.

"It's still not their buisness, un." Deidara said. as they went to Chemistry.

"Okay class you are making gun powder. " Finny Sensei said

"Yes! Explosives!" Kayla said. Deidara lit up a little he loved art!

After Kayla, Cody, and Ashley nearly lit the school on fire the bell rang.

TIME SKIP-7th period.

"Hey Deidara. I'm Mrs. Summer. I'm the English 2 teacher here is your journal you will write everyday. I will read anything that does not say do not read. but you can't put do not read on all of them. They all tried that except for Kayla she puts herself out there. I think we are going to start off with circle time since today is the second week back from break." The class put the desks in a circle and they got the 'talking stick' which was what kept the class in order during circle time. "Deidara is new here can somebody explain what we do in circle time?"

A hispanic kid said "Yo, man we listen to eachother. Our thoughts about a topic."

"That's right Omar. See Deidara these kids don't get to express themselves at home so we take one day a week for circle time everyone talks about there views on the subject and how they are feeling. Sometimes we get off subject and end up talking about something different. But I don't think that is going to happen today. Deidara you don't know much about the person but I hear you know about the subject. You don't have to share if you don't want to you get the freebie of the week if you choose to use it." Mrs. Summer said. "It has been about a week since we learned as a school about Seth commiting suicide. I have read your journals and you all had something to say about Seth or your views on suicide. Kayla why don't you start." Mrs. Summer handed Kayla the talking stick which was really just a door knob.

"I remember when I got the news Seth died. It is like it was just yesterday. It replays in my mind everyday. I was sleeping and my cell phone started blasting music signaling a text message. It was from Justin. 'Kayla Seth shot himself. He is gone.' I was so angry at Seth I threw my phone at the wall. I couldn't believe Seth was dead. I didn't cry for like the first week. Until we got back to school. Listening to Principal P. talk about it. It was like it hit me he was gone. I tried to not cry I really did. but I couldn't help it I was so angry, sad, and scared. Then at his funeral they played songs that were horrible to listen to. Right when the first song 'go rest high on that mountain' started playing the first line of the song 'I know your life on earth was troubled only you could know the pain' along with pictures I broke down. It had to be the worst time in my life."

"Thank you Kayla. Next." Deidara listened as all the students told stories sort of like Kayla's everyone was crying by the time this was over. Even Deidara who was remembering Sasori. He also got a glimpse in how his Akatsuki friends would have taken it if he killed himself.

"Deidara are you ready to share?" Mrs Summer said as Amber a blonde girl finished. "Nothing said during circle time leaves circle time." Deidara nodded.

"I tried to kill myself a few days ago. Because my _friend_ Sasori died, un." Deidara wiped a tear from his face and a piece of bandaged shown. He unwrapped his arm and showed the class. "This isn't the bad one, un. But they said this one alone could have killed me, un." Deidara rewrapped his arm but kept talking. "Hearing all of you talking about your friend and how much you miss him made me think of Sasori and how much I miss him, un. I think I tried to kill myself so I could be with him, un. I am lonely with out Danna, un." Deidara started sobbing.

"Okay I think this circle time is over." Mrs. Summer said getting up she hugged Deidara. "I am so proud of you Deidara. It takes alot to share especially after what you have went through in the past few days. This class starts to feel like a therapy session and partly it is a therapy session. These kids have it hard. Losing a friend is the worst for them because they only have their friends. I sense that is the same with you."

" I just miss him so much, un." Deidara told Mrs. Summer

" If you ever need anything my door is always open." She hugged Deidara one more time when the bell rang.

"See today wasn't so bad." Kayla said coming up to Deidara wiping her eyes.

"Help me find Itachi, un." Deidara told her. It didn't take long Itachi was across the hall in his Physics class.

"Hey Dei. Have you been crying?" Itachi asked when he saw Deidara.

"Circle time, un." Deidara said. "See ya Kayla, un."

"Bye Deidara. Bye Itachi." Kayla said as she turned and walked away.

"Why were you crying?" Itachi asked him looking into Deidara's red puffy eyes

"We talked about that kid who killed himself and then I told them my story everyone was crying, un." Deidara said getting in the car. "I would have told everyone. You are a asshole Itachi."

"I'm sorry Dei." Itachi said

"Whatever. lets go back to the house, un." Deidara said looking out the window they passed Kayla who was walking listening to her iPod she was wiping a tear away from her face singing a song. Deidara felt a tear roll down his face remembering his Danna.

A/N: Ok there is chapter one please review. Thank you. keep in mind I am Dyslexic and English is not my first language.


	2. Chapter 2

Deidara :Keira doesn't own any of Naruto, yeah. She wishes she did, Yeah. She also doesn't own any of the songs in this fanfiction.

Keria : Dei-kun what are you doing?

Deidara: Your Disclaimer, yeah

Keria: Ok good job

The house Deidara and Itachiwere staying at was the house of an older lady Mrs. Carroll. The old lady was a family friend of the Third Hokage. She was perfectly happy with Itachi and Deidara. Truth be told she was actually worried about the blonde boy.

"Mrs. Carroll we are back from school!" Itachi announced as the two boys walked though the door.

"Hey Itach can you get me some water from the kitchen please?" Mrs. Carroll said.

"Sure thing." Itachi walked to the kitchen to get some water.

"How was you're day Deidara?" Mrs. Carroll said to Deidara waiting for Itachi

"It was okay. un." Deidara told her. "I made a friend."

"Really now?" Mrs. Carroll told him.

"Her name is Kayla, un. She was the first person to talk to me, un. she is in all of my classes, un...." Deidara said. Purposefully leaving out the faggot comments, the showing the class his cuts, and all the other bad stuff of the day.

"Here you go Mrs. Carroll."

"wait you said Kayla. Is that the girl with red hair?" Mrs. Carroll asked Deidara. Deidara had replied by nodding. "I have a video of her singing at the state fair." And with that Mrs. Carroll got up to get the video tape of Kayla singing at the state fair.

"Do you like this girl?" Itachi asked Deidara.

"You know I only have eyes for Sasori." Deidara told him.

"Here it is. It isn't often when a girl from this small town makes it to the state fair." Mrs. Carroll said. She put the tape in the VCR and pressed play. Just a moment later Kayla appeared on the TV screen singing.

"they kissed goodbye at the terminal gate she said you're gonna be late if you dont go he held her tight said i'll be alright and I'll call you tonight to let you know. he bought her a postcard of the front it just said heaven with the picture of the ocean and the beach and the simple words he wrote her said he loved her andthey told her how he'd hold her if his arms could reach. Wish you were here wish you could see this place wish you near wish i could touch your face the weather's nice it's paradise its summer time all year there's some folks we know they say hello I miss you so wish you were here. She got a call that night but it wasn't from him. didn't sink in right away. ma'am the plane went down our crews have searched the ground. no survivors foundshe heard him say but some how she go a postcard in the mail that just said heaven with a picture of the ocean and the beach. and the simple words he wrote said he loves her and they told her how he'd hold her if his arms would reach wish you were here wish you could see this place wish you were near wish i could touch your face the weathers nice it's paradise its summertime all year there's some folks we know they say hello I miss you so wish you were here. the weather's nice in paradise its summer time all year the folks we know they say hello I miss you so wish you were here. wish you were here." Kayla sang a country song after she finished a huge applause rang through the crowed. It was a sad song. Deidara was crying. It made Deidara wonder if Sasori was watching over him wishing he could hold him but if he was too far away for him to. Deidara got up and ran to his room.

"Maybe that wasn't the best thing to show him." Itachi said.

"shoot I am sorry I forgot about Sasori." Mrs. Carroll said. "can you go talk to him Itachi.?"

Itachi made his way to Deidara's room. Itachi knocked once and then opened the door not waiting for an answer. "You okay Dei?

Deidara shook his head "N-No I-I M-Miss H-Him. un." He was sobbing sitting on his bed. Itachi walked over to Deidara andput his arm around his friend. "I J-Just want t-to d-die."

"Don't say that Dei. Plus do you want that girl to go throught the pain of another person dying." Itachi said wiping a tears off his friend's face.

"N-No." Deidara said regaining his ability to speak without crying. "She is the nicest person in the whole world. I don't think she has a evil bone in her body, yeah. She doesn't deserve the sadness of another person dying, yeah."

"That's what I thought. I'm going to do some homework. Why don't you do yours and have some dinner?" Itachi asked him

"I'm not very hungry Itachi, yeah. I think I am going to just do my homework and go to sleep, yeah." Deidara said.

"Okay Dei just please don't hurt yourself." Itachi said leaving. He couldn't stand the sight of the hurting boy.

Deidara had sat in his room until he heard Itachi close the door to his own room across the hall. Then he carefully grabbed a razorbladewrapped in a cloth and looked at it. There was a slight amount of blood on it from the last time. Deidara debated about cleaning it but that would take to much time and he wanted to cut himself now. Deidara took off his coat and his other shirt. He looked at his arm. the stiches were sewen in many different directions. "If I ever do this again I'm not going to get caught, yeah" Deidara said to himself "but cutting is different than suicide. yeah." Deidara put the razorblade to his arm and made four cuts on the top side of his forearm its the only part that isn't covered in stitches. Then he took the knife to his chest and cut four more times there. Deidara waited as the blood rand down his chest. He grabbed his black shirt and wiped the blood off his chest and arms. getting up to get another shirt he swear he heard Kayla singing. Deidara quickly put on his shirt and walked to the window walking down the street was Kayla she was singing a song in the same beautiful voice she was singing in earlier.

"It was always the love songs every time

made everybody feel something insde

with the fire down low

and held your girl real close

made you wanna love the one you were with

gave you the courage in that first kiss

it was a love song

always the love songs

it was always the line stuck in your head..... Hey Deidara!" Kayla stopped singing upon seeing Deidara in the window. She waved at him and finished talking to him "See you tomorrow." With that she walked away.

Deidara climbed into his bed and turned off the lamp by his bed. He wasn't caring about homework the day had made him physically tired.

"Dei,Dei,DEI WAKE UP!!!" Itachi said poking him. He noticed the red scratches when Deidara rolled over.

"What? Oh wow time to get up already, yeah?" Deidara said getting up as soon as he remembered that he had cut himself he put his hands underneath of the blankets.

"I already saw the new cuts Dei. I don't want to argue about it get up." Itachi said walking out of the room.

Deidara got out of bed and changed his clothes not bothering with his hoodie. He grabbed his bag and walked out of the room.

"Deidara! Where is your jacket are you wanting to be stared at?" Mrs. Carroll asked the boy "Is it dirty I can wash it really quick."

"Mrs. Carroll, I really do not care if people see, yeah. I am not ashamed of them. Well I am but everyone already knows I dont see a point in hiding something everyone already knows about. yeah." Deidara said walking outside and sitting in the car Itachi had bought when they got to the town.

"Dei. you have to be nicer to her she is letting you stay in her house. She just doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"I know I am a bad person, Yeah." Deidara said. Putting his head on the window. Neither of them spoke anything else as they drove to the school and they got out in scilence. Deidara made his way to the Gym and stood waiting for the bell to ring when it finally did he went down in the locker room and changed. Deidara wasn't sure how everyone was going to react to seeing the scars Especially that Ross kid. Deidara made his way up to the gym and sat on the bleachers."

"Hey Deidara, What doin?" Kayla asked sitting by Deidara on the bleachers.

"Not much, Yeah." Deidara said.

"Deidara you aren't wearing a jacket!?!?" Kayla said in a loud whisper.

"I really don't care anymore, Yeah. Why should I, Yeah." Deidara told her

They played capture the foot ball and Kayla, Deidara, and Emily's team beat Josh's bad. After they all got dressed they made there way to the next class.

Time Skip-Break between 2nd and 3rd period.

"Lily you weren't here yesterday! This is Deidara." Kayla told a girl who was holding a manga and a stack of paper.

"Hey Deidara. You are SPARKLY!!!!" Lily yelled. "Oh Kayla I drew you a picture. It's SPARKLY Kayla SPARKLY."

"Sweet Lily I'm gonna draw you one too Okay?" Kayla said the bell rang and they went there seprate ways.

TimeSkip - 6th period.

"Rat Day." Mrs. Sholz said as the students walked into the class room. Dead rats where in trays a scaple, scissors, and things that resembled tweasers were laying in a box next to it. "Partner up."

"I CALL DEIDARA!" Kayla yelled. they went to their rat and Kayla put on 2 pairs of gloves. "Gross it stinks."

"You are going to Skin the rat." Mrs. Sholz said.

Kayla took the scissors and cut downt the stomach and spereated the skin from the muscle "Gross look at it Deidara it's staring at you."Kayla said picking it up just as that happendthis red stuff came out of its mouth. The room started spinning and then everything went black Diedara had fainted.

"Stand back give him room." Mrs. Sholz said. "Are you ok. Hitting this floor could cause permanent damage."

"I'm as good as can be, Yeah. But I don't really feel well Yeah." Deidara said. sitting up.

"You should have seen yourself hit." Noel told Deidara. "It was like 'Bang, Bam.' Pretty awesome"

Deidara laughed. He was glad everyone at this school was nice. It also didn't hurt that they were all funny too.

"We have no seventh period it's an early realese day Deidara." Kayla told Deidara. "You should come to my house you and Itachi both I have movies we can watch movies."

"Okay let's go ask Itachi, Yeah." Diedara said. He was going to his new best friend's house. The first time ever in a girl's house.

AN: OKay so next chapter Deidara and Itachi at Kayla's house YAY!!! Reviews make it come faster.


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